Day 2: already phoning it in?

Today is day 2.

The familiar feeling of tiredness that comes with my body not being used to getting up consistently early once again washes over me.

And it may feel as though I am phoning today in.

I assure you I do not mean it to seem that way, it is something that I have been meaning to do for far to long and that I am sorry has not come sooner.

What I am referring to is the corrections to the film idea that I posted months ago (look I have links, Its like I’m Wikipedia.).

Mere minuets after I posted that particular post Joe, emailed me to tell me I had it all wrong, unlike me I know but he had a list.

And so without further adue here are his corrections to the summer blockbuster that will never get made until one or both of us is recognized as a brilliant writer (of course I am in more of a position to do this but I doubt I will ever get asked to write a screen play (if you would like me to write a screen play I’m sure I can get in touch.))

People may say they told me there was already a TV show with the same title and well there is.
Still... Its a movie so it must be different. Right?

Okay a few mistakes here.
 
1. The 3rd guy causes the meltdown and during the movie is trying to discover a way to get them back to normal, while at the same time he is trying to find a way of telling his friends it was his fault. Emotional stuff I know.
 
2. The bodies actually take part in the robbery, which leads me on to the next plot point I have just recently come up with.
 
3. The bodies are being tracked down by a detective, think Morgan Freeman in Seven.
 
4. They only have a certain amount of time to get their bodies back, maybe they are slowly decomposing? Maye too graphic? But we definately need a ticking clock for the big action concluding spectacular! at the end.
 
5. In one scene they travel around on a tandem bike, its funny cause there is only one of them with three heads! 
 
Three's Company! (Three heads are better than one!) I know it's gold, will practically sell the movie for us.
 

The Day The Magic Died.

A week or so ago I worked at Subway for a morning. Because apparently that’s what you do as a junior copywriter.

The first thing this allowed me to do was fulfil a dream I have had for a long time. Not a Martin Luther King style dream of racial equality, or even a dream of curing the world of some disease, because beyond leaving the bread out and inventing penicillin the field of sandwich artistry has stayed pretty much the same for the last 50 years or so. No, it was a dream of being able to actually get behind the Subway counter and make the sandwich I have always dreamed of.

Oh, you’d be jealous of this sub.

It looked amazing.
Bread cut at the recommended 45-degree angle.

2 meats (say what?).

A pig load of bacon (slow down buckoo!).

At least 2 avocados worth of avocado.

More than the company's recommended 6 tomatoes slices (you fiend).

More than the 42g of lettuce (are you mad?).
Even more than the suggested 12 grams of onion (he did what?!).

Only 3 sauces? Bah, I bend not to your rules!

I, ladies and gentlemen, thought of myself as a sub-shaman.

Like Jesus fed a whole lot of people with bread and fish, I fed myself with bread and chicken and bacon and Subway goodness.

However something went wrong. Firstly, my manager looked at me weird and scolded me a little for my liberal use of everything.

And secondly it tasted like ass. Well, not so much ass as that taste you get in the back of your mouth after you throw up. It had too many sauces, including the weird new sauce that I had never battle-tested. Foolish.

Day one sandwich artistry fail.

But gather round boys and girls, because there is a moral to my tale of misery and woe (I know none of my posts have really had morals before, but this is one lesson I think we can all learn from).

Lesson: You know all of that 'less is more' bullshit people keep telling you, that you only pay attention to because you cant afford to put all of that extra shit in. Listen to it. They be spitting the truth.  *Tips 40oz of Jack Daniels to the curb*

Word.

Also my art director and creative partner Hugh just started a blog. He is a cynical douche but go read it, it has pretty pictures and if enough of you go to his site from here he might design me a header that isn’t average.

EDIT: I also got stuck on a problem at work and as part of my research on said problem I put buttons down the bottom for Digg and Stumble. Click them so even more people can come and enjoy the fun. If you came from one of those sites, welcome! Click the like button... please.