I had a cat once.
It died.
It wasn’t due to my
neglect or through any fault of mine it was just really old. Like super old. It
was born in a cupboard with my then 3-year-old sister (now 17…ish?) burbling
next to it.
I was young and wanted
to give him a cool name like Goku, Crash Bandicoot, Zelda (Young enough to have
played Zelda on a friends N64 but not old enough to know that Zelda is a girls
name.) or Shield Liger (Does
anyone still remember Zoids? That almost deserves its own blog). Both perfectly
legitimate names for a cat. But my mum made us call it Charlie. A fact that
even though I never really loved the cat all that much, made me love my mum a
little less.
He was a good cat. He
killed rats. Wore hats… hunted bats? (We don’t have bats anywhere near my house
but it rhymed.) And above all else he was a firm supporter of Anwar Sadat (10
points for an I love you man reference.)
I never really cared
for it too much.
I’m not a cat person.
I’m not really a dog person really. If, when I am charged with your care, you
die when I forget to feed you for a few days I will probably only tolerate you
at best. But if you can cook well (read: order me take out) I’ll love you for
always.
This of course is my
round about way of bringing up the phenomenon of cats on, in and around the
Internet.
It is getting a little
old don’t you think.
Now I’m not as cold
hearted as you all think I am right now. I still like to have my heart melted
by /r/aww and I will have a “lol” to my friend and yours Maru the Cat.
But when I want to
surf the Internet I don’t need everyone trying to show me the crazy things
their cat can do.
When I am rich and
famous, (mark my words those days are coming... I just need to find my pants and
check my emails. Oh and the laundry is still on so I cant leave until that is
done.) I will form a governing body,
primarily of people who hate cats, to limit the number of cats on the Internet. A battle with anonymous will ensue where the fate of the world will hang in the balance and Ill probably have to invent Agent Smith style robots.
That could work quite well. I make them out of metal, then every hacker who thinks they are Neo will run head first at it and knock themselves out. Game Over.
Who’s the goose? You are.
Also, as my apology for
one of those unfunny ranty type blogs (as opposed to what I normally do? Which
is?) here is funny a picture.
Photo Credit goes to Christine. She writes a blog about fashion and other girly things and lets be honest it's much better than mine. |