Tuesday, July 12, 2011

If You're Lost You Can Look And You Will Find Me.

It has been brought to my attention, by my proof reading team (picked up a few more cheap from News of the World (current events joke, check.)) that this post is apparently sad. That was not my intention. Therefore if you would not like a sad post go back and read a funny one, like the one where the Wiggles touched me, or one that proves that stumble upon does work and got heaps of views over the weekend.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

Have you ever been through a horrible break up?

I have recently, but it was no ordinary break up. No this was no mere girlfriend. This was worse.

I feel as though I’m sitting the kids down at the table to tell them mummy and daddy won’t be living in the same house.

My art-director Hugh and I are *bites fist in an over-dramatic way* seeing other people, creatively.

He is becoming a suit. Hopefully one of the good ones.

And I am holding steadfast to the idea that I am a copywriter and I'll be damned if you try make me do something else.

But not before I do all the best clich├ęd break-up activities.

I must sit on a couch eating rapidly melting ice cream, whilst listening to Cyndi Lauper's “Time After Time” and watching “He’s Just Not Into You”. Crying throughout, of course, and wailing what might be the lyrics to the aforementioned Cyndi Lauper song, or perhaps the words “He just isn’t that into me”, or even just having a wail for the sake of it because you know, why not, I have nothing else to live for, especially not my dignity.

What am I going to do now then, you ask? Well, I feel as though I’m going to run away for a little while. Visit friends I have all over the country and (if you're willing to donate me some money) the world.

People from my old life will see me walking the streets of some small New Zealand town. I will have on a fake moustache. You’ll have forgotten my name and I’ll have forgotten it too. You’ll call out to me but I will have walked into a toffee shop and by the time you kick through the door I’ll be gone.

Was I really there? You’ll never know.

Later you’ll be by a lake and see my reflection in the water behind you, on for you to turn and find that I'm gone.

Then, later on the bus, I will sit across from you. You’ll look at me, wondering if I truly am the who you think I am, or just another extremely handsome stranger. My fake moustache will come unstuck slightly. No one else will notice, but you did and now you know. It truly is me.

Then, after a very long and difficult conversation, you’ll talk me into coming back for one last ad.

But I swore I was done with that life.

And then there will be some bad sequels that I’ll refuse to act in. I’ll develop a drug habit. Date some porn stars. Start a warlock on World of Warcraft. Finally, Ashton Kutcher’ll replace me.

Either that or in a week I will get bored of being unemployed and go out looking for a job.

Yeah. I think I might do that.

So to everyone that works in the industry, keep your eyes and ears out for me.

P.S Remember to hit those like buttons below, tell your friends and follow me. Remember when I have enough loyal followers we'll buy an island and go live there. 

Adam Martin is a copywriter that lives in Auckland. He has been working in the industry for 6 months and would love to come show you his work. He has no problems relocating especially if it's to New York or London.