Thursday, June 30, 2011

It Was The Best Of Times It Was The Blurst Of Times.

You all know me as a great entrepreneur, right?

I mean, I’m not just that. I am a copywriter, a friend, a human being, a brother, son. I can do anything, I’m pretty much the whole package. If you ignore my inability to deliver packages, that is.

But back to my original point - More ways to make money, for you and for me and the entire human race. Primarily me, but I do require an outsider's investment, which may be blown on hookers and blow, mainly because I want to be some sort of entrepreneurial rock star. Think CEO Slash or Business Correspondent Mick Jagger.

So the idea; “One thousand monkeys sitting at one thousand typewriters will eventually recreate the works of Shakespeare.”

Look at them, they need jobs too.
The recession hit the jungle just like it hit the rest of the world.

Let's hire those fucking monkeys! Shakespeare’s complete works sells for $60 as far as I can tell on the Internet. Bananas cost between 1-6 dollars a kilo and we'll give the monkeys clothes, smokes and tea, to keep them motivated and to keep myself amused.

So we get 1001 monkeys and 1000 typewriters. The one extra monkey will be my secretary. I shall call her Rose.

There may be some training required, but I imagine through Pavlovian conditioning we can get these monkeys typing my books at quite a rate.

It may only need to be a limited release, because everyone will want books typed out by my monkeys, the pages smeared with projectile monkey shit (old Pete and Davey never get along, always throwing shit between cubicles) and banana.

Order now!

Also, because I never do but probably should, remember to A) hit all the buttons I have all over this blog B)to follow me and C) comment (please, tell me how brilliant my idea is despite me already knowing it's genius) and D) tell your friends so we can expand the republic of Adam (when we get enough followers we'll buy an island and all live together in peace and harmony).

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