Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Poseidon's Wrath: A Tale of Triumph.

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, 'Adam, after you came up with such a brilliant plan to single-handedly take over the economy with a few strategically placed products, you must have slept the rest of the weekend, or perhaps risked imploding the universe with awesome'.

Well you, my reader and closest of friends, would be wrong.

As Sunday morning broke I awakened, at the crack of ten.

With the grasss being frost-tipped outside, bed seemed to be the safest place for me. But I thought, “I am no coward. Tethered not shall I be to the shackles of my bed.” Then I realized I had fallen asleep with some Shakespearean era movie playing and started to speak normally once more.

You see, my dad was northward at a surfing competition named the Frostbite Classic. It was quite cool to go to because all the boards had to be made before 1960, so they looked amazing, with the downfall being that the water was freezing, and by the time I got there the surf was all but minimal.

So in a bid to kill time until the tide came in, which would in turn hopefully improve the surf (Spoiler Alert: it did), Dad and I travelled to our holiday home, which we rent out to the general public and because of this results in us often being greeted upon arrival by some interesting scenes. Previously we arrived to find the biggest knife in the house taped to the bottom of  a chair, the only reasonable explanation (or at least the only one I will accept) is that there was a some sort of poker game being played for the ultimate prize, people's lives. I realize now that is probably a more interesting story, but we have begun now and once I get going there is no stopping me.

This time we were greeted with a sight far worse than any other. It looked like a pterodactyl had a seizure in the fridge and then proceeded to lactate everywhere. The table was smeared with a substance unidentifiable to the human eye, and I can only safely assume it was either class A pharmaceuticals or some sort of other worldly sex fluid. I was not impressed.

Either way I won the surf contest.

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